The Controversy Around Writing Letters to Home Sellers
Sending a personal note along with an offer to purchase a home has become a popular trend among buyers hoping to make their offer stand out from the competition. However, the National Association of Realtors (NAR) urges caution due to concerns about potential violations of fair housing regulations.
Real estate agents have mixed opinions on the practice. While some believe that a heartfelt letter can help build a connection with the seller, others acknowledge the legal risks involved. A well-crafted letter can humanize the buyer and establish emotional rapport by emphasizing elements of the home they genuinely appreciate—like a beautiful backyard view or a cozy reading nook.
For example, buyers often share personal anecdotes that align with the seller’s own sentiments. This emotional connection can sometimes influence a seller’s decision. Ernie Chamberlain of the George A. Real Estate Group, affiliated with Hometown Realty in Richmond, Virginia, shared a story about a client who sent the seller two pictures of their dog—one casual and one creatively edited to show the dog in formal attire.
“It was such a great picture,” Chamberlain recalled with a smile. “In the end, they secured the house. But what truly matters is getting the right price and terms to win.”
Still, emotional appeals don’t always outweigh financial considerations. Lauren O’Brien from Leading Edge Real Estate in Reading, Massachusetts, shared an example of a buyer whose son was a police officer. Although the buyer mentioned this connection in a letter, their offer was $5,000 lower than a competing bid. The seller ultimately chose the higher offer.
In competitive markets, some buyers choose to submit their offer and letter immediately upon viewing a listing.However, if the seller decides to wait and consider all offers equally, the letter may have little to no impact.
Fair Housing Concerns
Despite good intentions, these letters raise serious legal and ethical concerns. Writing a letter—whether for personal or professional purposes—requires careful consideration of its content. Sharing personal information about oneself or family members can introduce risk for both the buyer and the seller. Topics such as race, ethnicity, religion, gender, disability status, and heritage are all protected under federal fair housing laws. It is illegal for a seller to make decisions based on any of these characteristics.
In 2021, Oregon passed a rule banning buyer letters to home sellers due to fair housing concerns. However, this law was later overturned on the grounds of free speech, as reported by the National Association of Realtors.
Instead, agents suggest alternative ways for buyers to stand out—such as disclosing a strong credit score or offering a nonrefundable deposit.
Chamberlain doesn’t actively encourage buyers to write letters, but he also doesn’t discourage it—so long as photos or similar personal items are excluded. When representing sellers, he advises not reading buyer letters until a decision has been made about which offer to accept.
Professional Caution
“I often say that including a letter could hurt you more than help you,” Ferguson explained. “It might even lead to your offer being dismissed due to someone’s biases. We don’t know who’s reading it.”
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